Here's why.
For one, on my quest for debt-less-ness, I joined a debt management program. Through Clearpoint Financial I've been able to decrease my monthly consumer credit bills, lower interest rates dramatically, and consolidate my payments to those companies into one, automatically withdrawn sum. Having survived the initial three month period with both of the card companies, they have agreed to re-age my account, place it in good standing, and remove finance charges related to any late fees. Essentially, I've been able to transform 10,000,000 years of debt into three. No hyperbole.
This has been much less painless than I'd expected. I had actually, repeatedly put off contacting Clearpoint for fear of judgement, or worse, rejection. Apparently, dealing with situations like mine (and those much more dire) is the line of work these folks are in. Go figure. AND, credit card companies actually PAY these organizations to work with us. Saves them money in the long run. Funny what a girl can learn when she gets on the phone and faces her embarrassment.
For "two"? I'm credit free. I haven't purchased anything on plastic, imaginary money since August. From the time that credit card imprinter at Roseburg's JC Penny's first ca-chunked across my card as I purchased a pair of teal lycra tights for dance class to the last time my VISA slipped through the fingers of my fancy hair salon stylist in Portland August 5 spanned some 22 years. Twenty-two years of plastic dependency over. Done. Finito. Kaput. Adios.
These last eight months...I have survived. Miracle of miracles, I'm still loved by my family and friends, I haven't starved, or had to hitch a ride to work with strangers, or even been dejectedly home alone on a Friday night. I don't even eat Top Ramen. Unless I want to.
Truly, I've done more than survived. I've thrived.
I've learned to just tell myself, "No, Angela. You don't NEED another pair of black shoes...or that wrinkle cream...or that random item simply because it is on sale." I've learned to CUT MY OWN HAIR. And color it...AT HOME! I open my mail...even the things that look like bills. (I may still pile them on my desk...) I feel good about shopping for bargains. I've almost gotten comfortable when asking for and receiving help from others. Almost.
Things are much, much rosier when I gaze upon my financial landscape.
Still, among my greatest attributes, one will not find consistency. Even as I'm committed to this process, I stumble. For example, more than a month has gone by when I've ignored the bills I've opened.
Wait. Let me be honest.
That sentence should more precisely read: More than a few months have passed when I've feared checking my bank balance, and I have therefore left opened bills unpaid. Case in point? My garbage cans were recently "retrieved" by the sanitation company for lack of payment. (In my defense, there's been a glitch in the auto bill pay that I'll be unraveling tomorrow.) If I'd actually taken action when I got the first notice, I'd still have a place to stash my trash.
But, progress is my game plan, and progress is what I'm steadily making. The good news is, I've recently set all my monthly, predictable expenditures up on automatic payment. Duh. Could have done that about eight months ago. Technological consistency. See? I'm getting better at receiving help!
Reality, put your bucket down, missy!
